The
Non-Romantic Adventures of a lonely girl
This
was no adventure to be living.
How do I tell him how I feel about him and that I have
a crush on him, which was the very question on Heidi's lip? Though she didn't
quite have the answer to her question she thought to herself I need to tell
him. A year before she met this particular man that was brought into her life.
Heidi was a single girl who wasn't looking for love when Greg walked into her
life. Greg was the man, that Heidi had fallen for but also was her boss at her
workplace. She was a photographer at Greg's photography studio. He was a
handsome looking man with glasses, green eyes, brown hair; he wasn't fat nor
skinny and only 5'10. He was a married man at the time of her starting her work
there at the company. What got Heidi's attention about him was his ability to
tell her that everything she did was perfect, from using an extension cord and
editing software. She was a bit inexperienced at photography and using
software, she never went to photography school and all of her learning was on
the job. Greg took a chance on her even though knowing she was inexperienced
that he could lose money and his reputation as a photographer. He taught her
how to use a digital camera when he told her that he wanted to help her to
develop her camera skills, she thought nothing of it only that he was a nice
person and she appreciated his help. One day, she was required to fill out
paperwork for a client. She stayed up until 2am to fill out the paperwork and
wanted to show him if she was doing the right job filling out the paperwork. He
said for a person that didn't have the experience as her, she was doing a great
job. He said to her that the paperwork she did was impeccable. They got into
the habit of saying hi to each other every morning. She was using the editing
software in her office, when Greg walked into her office. Without thinking or
looking at her mouse, she grabbed his hand and he didn't move his hand until
she moved it. He smiled at her, she was blushing at him. Weeks later he was
standing next to her in the editing suite in the office downstairs where he was
talking to other people in the company. She overheard him say he was waiting
for his divorce to be finalised and that he really wanted to be with someone in
the room and that he was sick of being alone in his house. This was the turning
point for her. She started to develop feelings for him. She thought to herself
it is probably just a phrase that she was going through at the time. But it
wasn't a phrase she was going through at all it was really getting to her. One
instance when he was doing something strange in front of her and she said to her
'what is my future husband doing?’ She never said that in her head before about
no guy, this was an indication something wasn't right. She was upset and
removed herself from him after hearing of the news of his divorce but instead
he wasn't going to give up. He was getting close to her without her knowing.
She wasn't fussed about him getting close to her after they had a conversation
together after she wanted to leave the workplace. She lied to him after he
asked her was she leaving because of him. She said no she wasn't leaving
because of him, but in reality she had fallen for him by the time he asked her.
She couldn't handle it falling for this man. She was hinting that she liked him
and that she was interested in him. She couldn't stop looking at him. She
wanted to leave but something was stopping her from leaving the place. After
this she made every excuse in the book to see him. She wanted to get closer and
so did he. Again awhile working in the editing suite downstairs, he was often
sitting right next to her on the table either on her left side or her right
side. They spent more time in the editing suite, editing photos then on
location being photographers. He was even bumping into her chair every time they were in the
editing suite together. In which got quite annoying to her when she was doing
her work. She had to tell him to stop bumping into her chair in which he never
stopped but said sorry to her about it when he did to it again. He wouldn't do
that to anybody else but her. When he was having conversations with other staff
members he would always sit next to her when speaking to them when they were
sitting on the other side of the room. He keep staring at her all the time when
she was doing her work and when she walked into the room and the front entrance
to the building. She went to work every Saturday to complete her work when he
always showed up out of the blue. He started flirting with her one day but she
shook her head thinking why he would flirt with me. She went on holidays for
four months and couldn't stop thinking about the day she would see him again.
She returned to work, she went straight to the editing suite and was having
problems with a computer in there. She needed help from him but it was the worst
possible time for her to see him. He was talking to other staff members who
were at his office, when she over heard him talking about a future potential
wife. She got jealous but asked him for his help but he wouldn't give her his
help like he used to. It was as if she was alone in this and he wasn't willing
to give up his time for her to fix the problem. She got angry and frustrated at
the problem. She logged off the computer. He asked her did she get the problem
fixed. She snapped at him with a no I didn't get the problem fixed. He asked
her would she been in next week she replied with 'I'm not sure if I would be in
next week as I am maybe busy'. He said if you’re not busy, you can come in to
finish your work. After that she walked out in anger. She was thinking is there
another woman about to steal the man that I want. She was getting angry with
herself for not telling him sooner. She couldn't function properly. She needed
to tell him. She wrote a very personal email to him. In the email she snapped
at him saying what happens in your personal life is your business not mine and
that I really don't care. That she wasn't returning to work. Deep down she did
care about him, she just didn't want to show it. This was her way of dealing
with the situation that was hurting her so badly. She fully returned to work
two weeks after the problem raised. She couldn't even look at him after what he
said and she overheard. He grabbed her attention for a brief second when he was
talking about editing software that he thought was hard to understand and that
he wanted to rekindle his relationship with the editing software. When he said
this he looked at her for a second, she was taken back after his comment and
looking at her about rekindling his relationship with the software. She didn't
know what to do. Why was he looking at her when he said that? What was the
point and what was he getting at. They both got into a heat discussion about
how the company won't use actors as models as he thought they are useless. When
they were discussing it and the heat was on she couldn't take it any more with
him and his sexiness. She was getting urges about wanting to tell him. She grabbed
her bag and walked out and never returned until the very next day. He held a
staff meeting and told them he had resigned from the job. That he was staying
for another six weeks and then leaving the country. Her world was turning
upside down; she couldn't cope with what was said in the meeting. She walked
out and one of the staff members asked her were she was going. She replied to
the toilet but in reality she was calling a friend to tell them what was
happening. She was freaking out about it. She told them he was leaving and that
she had six weeks to tell him how she felt about him. They didn't talk to each other
and say hi until she bit the bullet and said hi to him. She tried to tell him
but there were too many people around and she was scared about the fact that
she might get rejected if he found out when she told him. Six weeks passed and
that was the end of trying for her. She didn't manage
to tell him but it wasn't as if he was going to say the same thing. She didn't
show up to his last day of work as she was too upset and emotional to go, she
didn't want to cry in front of him. He was then gone for good. She added him on
Facebook and she was waiting and waiting for him to accept her friend request.
Sick of waiting she sent him a message telling him that he was her inspiration
and that she wanted to be friends with him on Facebook. At the same time she got
a message from a close friend about a girl who was pissing him off. She replies
to the girl as she was angry and furious. He said something on Facebook and
messaged her back saying 'I appreciate you friend request and absolutely will
not accept it. She thought everything was going against her. She was wondering did he ever like her or was it just an act to confused her. Now that he didn't
want to be her friend it was clear to her that he was playing her for a fool.
She still wanted to tell him how she felt about it. She thought it was too late
and that he wouldn't care about it. To this day she still wants to tell him
about it. She still has feelings for him but does he feel the same she will
never know. He will never know how she truly felt about him.
